Hey all..

Why haven't i been here for a while? LOL where do i start?

Seriously though same old same old,I am feeling way over whelmed and my stress is taking physical tolls..I am eventually going to see a dr as this is getting crazy, going to try other options 1st then if need be will do dr route.

I am short of breath all day all night,exhausted and severe pains in back chest ribs and occasionally abdomen,dizzy spells nausea etc....I do NOT have depression thank the lords,so no need for meds for that..I am on ginsing and multivitamins,but need to rule out low iron and or low blood sugar etc.

Anyways moving on..I am overwhelmed and over my head..Had HUGE blow out with my son this morning..He is 12 and REALLY a botton pusher calls me names and insults me and so on..As well as breaking things he broke the broom by repeadidly banging it on the chair and it broke(the handle)

He was also kicking in the wall and punching the wall and throwing things around the room,screaching etc..

He is my ex's child(tho not biologically)and acts as he saw his father do..

Anyways i am not one for whining so will not do it now..

I am just tired,confused overwhelmed and STRESSED..I need a break so bad and my daughter's sweet 16 is this weekend..I will be taking her and my other daughter(gaby) to the spa for girl day and then to lunch and movie and dinner at Boston Pizza.

I am really hoping to relax on Sat(when I am doing all this) and ya know "zone" a little bit..

Anyways as i said I am not one to whine or complain..

But life is seriously confusing to me right now..Somethings are not,couldn't be more clear and others are confusing..

For example the Secret well and good and yeah i have read parts and am a fan BUT,I cannot embrace it totally..For example this morning in local news a man holding his baby daughter(1 yr old) were attcked by bear mace and hammers.

During a hotel robbery(they were innocent bystanders)The baby Goddess bless her, is ok and so is daddy both in hosp but will survive..

BUT according to the secret the sweet baby asked for this on herself and he did too..i DO not agree and can't..She got the FULL potent mace in her face and mouth.

I am trying daily as a single momma to do the best i can and struggling with bills and temper tantrums and physical ailments and i am falling short..I am doing all I can and it still seems to be not enough..

Anyways I am here I am ok,just REALLY exhausted and stressed and ready to throw in the towel.

Blessed be my friends and love and light,

Nat

. DO YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE OR AN APARTMENT? Town House

 2. WOULD YOU SAY IT IS BIG OR SMALL?  tiny


 3. DO YOU HAVE A WELCOME MAT?  Used to,got dirty and ripped from many many little feet lol!



 4. DOES IT SAY SOMETHING?Nope just vines and leaves..'



 5.DO YOU HAVE A DISHWASHER OR DO YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR DISHES BY HAND? I did by hand for 7 months while my washer was broken now i have dishwasher again.

 6. HOW MANY PLANTS DO YOU HAVE INSIDE? 4 I need more but i have 9 cats lol!.

 7. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE THAT YOU PUT YOUR KEYS?My purse ;-).

 8. IS YOUR REFRIGERATOR STOCKED WITH ANYTHING?Milk,cheese,eggs are a few staples I always have on hand.

 9. WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR BREAD?  in a little wooden bread box.'

 10. IS YOUR BATHROOM CLEAN?  Yes,(usually) LOL!

 11. WHAT IS YOUR BATHROOM'S THEME? Green jungle,shower curtin is a beige with white cloth,and the colors are green and leaves... 

 12. HOW MANY RUGS DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR DWELLING SPACE?  Rugs? None anymore used to have an area rug and not anymore,downstairs is wooden floors upstairs is carpeted.

YOUR NEIGHBORS?  an asian couple attached on my left and a military man on my right,and attached to him a sweet young jewish family,a couple with a young boy(Zachery) who is too adorable my kids play with some times ;-)


 14. IF SO DO YOU GET ALONG WITH THEM? I am more aquaintances with my neighbors ya know nod and say hello,nothing more.


 15. ARE THERE ANY STRAY CATS AROUND? yes but I don't get many at my house(i have enough in my house lol!). 

 16. DO YOU HAVE A DVD PLAYER IN YOUR BEDROOM? nope

 17. WHICH ROOM WOULD YOU SAY YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME IN?  kitchen and living room.



 18. DO YOU HAVE A POOL OR JACUZZI WHERE YOU LIVE?  Nope...

 19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DVD THAT YOU OWN?  Mists,and  First Knight


 20. HOW ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE CD THAT YOU OWN?  Dan Hill and the Mists soundtrack,and Kenny G.

 21. WHERE IS YOUR STEREO OR RADIO LOCATED IN YOUR HOME?  my room. 

22. DO YOU HAVE A COFFEE MAKER?  Yes! I use that every morning. Although I drink Green Tea at times.

 23. DO YOU HAVE AN AREA DESIGNATED FOR ALCOHOL?  No?WTF? lol


 24. HOW MANY TELEVISIONS DO YOU HAVE?  one

 25. DO YOU HAVE STAIRS?  Yes

 26. WHAT KIND OF STUFF DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR WALLS? Family Photos, celtic pics and art,as well as asian art and some mythical art(king arthur), mirrors and clocks.

 27. WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR TOOTHPASTE?  On the bathroom sink. 

 28. DO YOU HAVE A DEN OR AN OFFICE? nope.  

 29. DO YOU LIVE CLOSE TO ANY STORES? Just 2 a furniture one and a grocery store.

 30. DO YOU HAVE A WALK IN CLOSET AND IF NOT WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE ONE?  no and yes i'd love one. 

 31. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING HANGING FROM THE CEILING?  Light fixtures

32. DOES YOUR KITCHEN HAVE A THEME? green tiles,and black and white checkered floor.

33. IS IT A PAIN TO DUST YOUR LIVING SPACE?  yes.



34. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?  crap lol

 35. DO YOU HAVE A GAME SYSTEM?  Play Station 2

 36. HOW MANY TELEPHONES ARE IN YOUR HOME?  2 home phones, and 1 cell.

37. DO YOU HAVE A FIREPLACE AND IF SO DO YOU USE IT OFTEN?no but i want one.  

 38. WHAT KIND OF MICROWAVE DO YOU HAVE?  I don't know...just a microwave.

 39. DO YOU HAVE ANY FIGURINES OF ANGELS AROUND?  yes a few hanging in my room. 

 40. DO YOU LIKE TO OPEN THE BLINDS OR CURTAINS OR KEEP THEM SHUT? Open.

 
41. HOW MANY COMPUTERS ARE IN YOUR DWELLING SPACE?  One

 42. WHAT COMPANY DO YOU USE FOR INTERNET ACCESS AND HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?  Rogers and that next question is too personal.

 

If you "HAD to" section:

If you HAD to get a tattoo, where would you want it?  Probably near my ankle...

If you HAD to dye your hair a color what color would it be?  hmm my own colour(black)

If you HAD to get a piercing (THAT ISN'T YOUR EARS) what would you get?  Belly button

If you HAD to change your name, what new name would you choose?  Hmm I like my name,maybe add "ia" at the end like Natalia but otherwise no change.


The "WOULD YOU?" section:

Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships? Love one person

Would you move anywhere else if you could?  yes,Newfoundland

If you were given the chance to go to Paris, would you? Yes maybe someday

If you were given 10 million dollars to keep, what would you do? put all the kids thru college,buy a house,move away from my ex,and relax a little and heal and recouperate.

The "LETS SAY" section:

Lets say you had to eat a live tarantula for $1,000.  no amount would make me,I have fear of spiders...

The "OTHER STUFF" section:

What makes your bedroom unique?  my dragon mirror above my bed..

Whats your favorite season of the year? Autumn


The "THE 2008" section:

Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2008?  No

Anything exciting happen this year?  hmm not really.

Have you been involved with the police this year?  define involved?I have been via my daughter who was in a minor traffic accident,on her bike..I was reporting it.

Are your best friends still your best friends?  Yes

Got any tattoos or piercings this year? yep,my nose

Had a haircut yet this year? no

Been in a hospital this year?  Nah

Lost someone you cared about this year?  No

Been on a vacation this year?  not in 16 yrs

Been kicked out of a public place this year? Never

Been to a public library? Book store count?

Do you like to hold hands? yes!

Do you over analyze things? yes..

Do you have any tests or exams soon?  Nope.

Do you know any Asian people? Yes,most of my neighbors


Coffee: Love it or hate it? Mmmm Java

When you see a foggy window do you feel the need to write or draw on it? Hehe sometimes

How many watches do you own? too many(watch fetish here)

How many jobs have you ever had ? many,retail,fast food but best of all - mummy.

What's one thing you've learned lately from love?  hmm no comment

 She chased

the horrizon

till it was sliced

by the dawn

riding the whispers

of yesterdays gone.

A canvass of colour

the sky touched her

and cried

"aim for me,believe in

all you see,I'm yours if you try"

She watched

in humble awe,

as the sky,

gave birth to light

 all her cares

and worries

disolving

with the night.

She didn't

see it coming

till the whispers

turned into songs

that her feet 

had landed firmly

on the path

where she

belonged. 

Adam on Dumbo ride ;-)

Me and Austin

Me and Faith and Sean and Adam

Austin and Sean on roller coaster(Sean got scared ;-( Austin held him and put his arm around him and covered his eyes,AWWW that's what big bro's are for!

Faith and Adam on the crocodile ;-)

Adam on the merry go round

Faith on merry go round

Faith on the blow up bouncy slide ;-)

As promised by many an inquiring friend..

Here are me and the kidlets(shy of the girls who were with my mom and their boyfriends on the rollercoasters)

I am in a REALLY down and angry and depressed mood..It's been a bad day,on top of my already bad mood and i just want to crash.

So i will wish you all,all my love and blessings and keep this to just pictures.

Love and light

Nat